Two long-term best friends turned distant over one kiss… a kiss that started something that might just mean a little more...
Dylan Holland
I was rushing him.
I knew I was rushing him, and still...
Still, I couldn't quite stop myself. I kept Isiah's hand locked in mine the entire time we walked back, unwilling to let go of him for any bit of the way. I wanted us... alone.
Now.
And Isiah didn't protest it a single moment. He just doubled up his steps for each massive one I took with my longer strides.
My dad hadn't exactly given me the okay to stay longer, but the movie had ended close to midnight, and if luck was on my side, the old man would be sleeping by now, having completely forgotten what time I was coming home.
If he was still up, maybe he was just enjoying having the place to himself with Carson. I was more than okay with missing out on whatever those two had going on right about now, especially if they were up taking their own liberties.
Instead, I was planning on taking advantage of being alone with Isiah. I... I didn't have to worry about being interrupted. Honestly, I might've been able to get away with ignoring all my dad's calls if one came in and just used the excuse that I fell asleep here at some point.
That always seemed to do the trick when Isiah and I were younger.
What we weren't expecting as we safely made it into Isiah's building and took his steps two at a time to reach his second floor quicker, was the rather cool gust of wind that welcomed us as soon as he slid his key into the lock and got the front door open.
"Shit, it's freezing in here. Let me check the thermostat quick," Isiah said. I rather reluctantly let go of his hand now that we had made it back. I guess he might've needed both hands to figure out the thermostat, so I instead packed up most of my schoolwork from the living room's coffee table and brought everything to Isiah's bedroom.
The whole home was pretty chilly, but I didn't mind. I just found a few extra blankets from the cupboard near Isiah's room since this building's heat was always a hit or miss, and placed those on his bed.
Then I got myself comfortable. With my thick grey sweats and this black hoodie, the blankets just made the temperature perfect, and the defeated look in Isiah's eyes as he joined me in his room a short time later let me know that the blankets would be a more permanent option for the night.
"Sorry, I'll probably have to call the property manager in the morning," he spoke as he pulled off his hoodie and rummaged through his open closet on my right to find himself a warmer one. "If you get too cold and want to head home, that's totally fi—" Isiah started, but I quickly cut him off as he turned back to me.
"The blankets are perfect," I told him quickly, plus this... this would just mean that we could— "c-come... come here," I added a bit more quietly as my hand lifted the cover some for him to join me.
Isiah only hesitated for a second before he quickly pulled the hoodie on, grabbed the TV remote from his bedside table, and climbed onto the bed. He looked like he was about to sit cross-legged like I was on my right side, but I quickly pulled him down to the mattress, having us both lay on our sides at the length of his bed while he fumbled with the remote. I propped my elbow up on one of the pillows to view the mounted screen.
"M-M-Maybe we—we sh-shouldn't—maybe we should sit—" Isiah started but I stopped him.
"Th-This is... better," I mumbled softly as I covered Isiah with the blankets while my arms simultaneously pulled him a bit closer to me.
Fuck, he smelt so fucking good.
I tried to leave some space between the back of him and the front of me, especially with him now this close—with his scent fucking everywhere, including his pillows and duvet...
Space was good right about now. Really fucking good.
Isiah's entire body felt pretty rigid, too, and so I tried to give him a bit more space. I hadn't meant to make him uncomfortable... but as soon as I started to shift away a bit more, I felt a hand quickly reach behind to grab mine. "M-Maybe..." Isiah started, pulling up gently on my right hand until it comfortably rested over his right upper arm. "M-Maybe just for a bit... I... I just don't want to fall asleep."
"I-It's okay if you do," I whispered to him, feeling his body start to relax more next to me. He had begun to... to shift himself a bit closer... and into that—well, that space I had created. The one that was pretty fucking necessary right now since even the slightest thought of Isiah pressed up against me was making my entire body fucking heated.
I... I needed that space back.
"Isi—" I started, but he said something at the exact same time that ended up overruling my barely voiced request.
"What should we watch?" He asked me.
And I honestly had no fucking clue. It was safe to say that I barely paid attention to the movie we had just watched. My mind was still on the fucking way Isiah looked at me when I brought the back of his hand to my lips tonight.
I wanted to leave the theatre right there and then, but I didn't want to interrupt his birthday gift to me. Having the length of that entire movie to pep talk myself into holding Isiah's hand until we made it back to his apartment, along with asking if I could stay a little longer, was absolutely needed.
"Are we thinking something good, or something... something we might not really... like pay much attention to—"
"The—the um... the latter," Isiah answered quickly, and this time it was me who went against the need for some fucking space because the slight shiver that cut through Isiah drew me closer almost fucking immediately. My right arm was rested over his, and I could feel him start to type something out with his TV remote.
I knew he really must've not given a shit what movie we watched because he selected the first thing that was available on Netflix. Alita: Battle Angel was what started playing seconds later, which gathered my attention a moment
"I don't think I've ever seen this movie all the way through once," Isiah mumbled. His voice had gotten softer, just urging me to get a bit closer... and I had no control over it anymore. Instead, I found myself shifting a bit more, holding him a bit tighter, but as I felt a part of me react more than it fucking needed to right now, I made sure to keep it as far from him as fucking possible.
I wanted him flush against me... but I didn't want him to feel this. It was already fucking embarrassing how easily he made me hard. And I didn't want him to think that this was all I thought about either... technically, it was only about forty percent, while the other fifty was simply the thought of him, and about ten percent was allocated to schoolwork.
"That makes two of us," I more or less murmured near the nape of Isiah's neck, and when I felt him push back a bit, pressing his ass up unexpectedly against my hard-as-shit dick, I inhaled so goddamn sharply it made Isiah jolt a bit before he shivered hard yet again.
Jesus fucking Christ—
"I-I-I... I'm so s-sorry—I-I didn't realize—" Isiah stammered quietly as he shifted again to put a bit more space between us. My breaths were now a labored fucking mess, and I was trying everything in my power not to grab Isiah's arm tight as a reaction. For every deep breath that fanned Isiah's skin, I could feel him practically tremble against me.
"I-It's o-okay—" I tried to croak out. "I-I just—I just need like a second..." I tried to explain, to which Isiah slowly nodded, pressing some of his soft curls against my face as he did, and I couldn't help but deeply inhale that new shampoo scent.
Honestly, I knew what I had said was a fucking lie, but I wasn't expecting to react this uncontrollably. All it did was add to my already-wired nerves that Isiah and I were now finally alone... and I might've not put a whole lot of thought into the fact that we were taking things slow in the first place because I still didn't know what the fuck I was doing.
I... I wanted to kiss him... but the only time I had ever felt lips against mine was when he kissed me.
Hell, what if I was a horrendous kisser? I could've very well been.
It wasn't like I had any prior experiences, considering the kiss Isiah had given me was the briefest of pecks. It was so quick, and he had left so fast that, honestly, it took me a minute to register he had even kissed me on that couch.
One minute, Isiah's head was resting in my lap on the suede couch, and our focus was on the mounted TV above the fireplace—at least that was where I thought it was—until I heard Isiah whisper my name softly that night. That was when I tilted my head to look down at him, and I was met with Isiah lifting his head up from my lap to unexpectedly bring his lips to mine.
I was so fucking taken aback I didn't react with enough time. Or like at all, really. Not when he sprung to his feet from the couch, mumbled a quick, rushed apology, then grabbed his school bag and bolted the hell out of there. By the time I ran out into the hallway to try and stop him, Isiah was already gone. He had taken the back stairwell.
And from that night, he didn't answer any texts or calls. He just completely shut me out.
Now you can do it right, my brain reminded me as it practically begged me to stop being so hung up on the first kiss and start figuring out how to do it again. I couldn't even tell how in my head I had gotten about all this, but I decided I'd just bite the bullet and full-on ask if I could kiss Isiah... only to hear the softness of his breaths. Then, when I managed to sit up further so I could see more of him, I noticed his long eyelashes lying gently against his under-eyes.
He had dozed off at some point, all while I was over-psyching myself out about kissing him.
Jesus fucking Christ, I was a whole mess.
I didn't dare wake him up, though. I knew he was waking up earlier this week to meet me at my locker, and while I knew the right thing was to tell him to sleep in more those mornings... there was a part of me—a massive part—that fucking loved it. Seeing him leaning against my locker with his leather jacket and backpack slung over his shoulder, only for the largest smile to spread quickly across his lips.
It made my heart beat like I had just ran all the way to school instead of driving myself.
I was disappointed in myself now, though. Perhaps for missing the only opportunity we might've had to do more. I wished that I could act as calm as I did before that first kiss when things were different... yet I also didn't quite want that either. It was the way my body reacted now that reminded me of just how much I... liked Isiah.
Liked, I reminded myself again, refusing to take things further than that in hopes that my body's internal temperature would go back to normal.
And it probably would've if I didn't have the dream I had... or subsequently did the things I did right after it.
-
At night, I dreamt about what I would've done if I had the balls to make a move before Isiah fell asleep. If I had taken the opportunity to do more. I dreamt about him still lying in my arms, yet this time, my right arm was wrapped around his waist, holding him tighter to me. There was no space between us anymore.
"Sh-Shit," I found myself muttering during this dream as I felt Isiah's soft yet firm ass pressed right the hell up against me. Isiah was releasing the softest fucking moans while his hand held mine just as tight, almost begging me to ask him for more.
I couldn't stop myself from nuzzling my nose deeper into the crook of his neck, feeling his hand tighten around mine even further. I knew it was a dream—it had to be because I had started to slowly grind my dick harder against his ass through these sweatpants, not giving a single fuck about just how hard I was...
Until I felt Isiah's hand start to shake mine lightly, nudging me.
"D-Dylan—sh-sh-shit, Dylan—" Isiah's voice spoke, but it was a disheveled mess, and sounded far more strained than it did just a second ago. Once I felt his hand tighten around my wrist, my eyes finally flew the fuck open.
It... it wasn't a dream.
Well, I mean, like it was, but it also wasn't.
Sh-Shit!
For starters, my arm wasn't around Isiah's shoulder. It was around his waist, holding the man firmly pressed into the front of my body. And I wasn't just pushing my hard-on against his ass... I had been somewhat grinding my lower half into him.
The speed at which I separated myself right then and there almost sent me into the wall that Isiah's bed was up against. I quickly pulled myself onto my knees, putting even more fucking space between us, but as Isiah scrambled to sit up in bed himself, I noticed him eyeing the one place I couldn't exactly hide from him.
"I-I—... I-I'm so sorry—" I tried to rush out as the immediate shame of what the fuck I was just doing damn near suffocated me now. My hand still tried to pull the edge of my hoodie down lower to try and cover myself. My dick was almost painfully hard at this point.
"I-I-It—It's- y-you're—" Isiah mumbled as he tried to get his own heavier breaths under control. I... I still couldn't believe that I—
"I—I'm going to go piss quick. I-I'll be right back," I rushed out before climbing off Isiah's bed. I wasn't even sure if I sounded anywhere near convincing, but I had been... close with what I was doing, for lack of a better word. I needed to... to finish somewhere. To try and get this out of my system before I even attempted to go back to lie down next to Isiah.
I wasn't even sure how the hell I was going to face him again, I thought as I quickly rushed down Isiah's hallway to his bathroom and shut the door safely behind me before I locked it.
That was so fucking embarrassing.
I was so fucking embarrassing, good lord.
Isiah probably felt so goddamn violated... and the way I had just told myself that I wouldn't wake him up. That I would hold off... just to do all that now?
"Fuck!" I muttered quietly as my eyes adjusted to the bathroom's warm lights. I was a mess. And as soon as I caught sight of my bright red face... I knew I probably looked like a deer caught in headlights once Isiah got a good look at me while on his bed. My hard dick didn't even try to hide itself, plus with how tight I had it pressed against Isiah's ass, there was literally no going back now. He had felt it... how turned on I was.
My hand pushed past my tied drawstring for me to release myself, pulling my dick out from my briefs. I didn't really jerk off all that often, and doing it in Isiah's bathroom just felt so fucking wrong, but it was genuinely my only option.
So my hand wrapped around my length, and I tried to get myself off quickly, not even thinking for a second that however embarrassed I felt now was just about to get a whole lot worse for me once I returned to Isiah's room.
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